RIP Butters

Butters The Dog - RIP 😢

Captain Chaos, Master of Disaster - An ode to a four legged life well lived

Butters crossed the rainbow bridge on Sat April 18, 2026. 18 years of the sweet 55 lb larger than life goofball wrapped in fur has left us.

So many memories from this long & eventful chapter now floods our brains - from routine moments to grand events.

• Tossing the ball - and trying to get it back

• Wake SPCA K9-3k’s & Santa Paw runs (& a TV appearance in 2016)

• Greenway walks

• Camping - Hanging Rock, Pilot Mountain, Grayson Highlands, Falls Lake, the backyard

• Trips to the beach

• Jumping in the creek and chilling in the kiddie pool

• Pining for lunchtime tomato slices & broccoli butts at dinnertime - and getting many

• “Helping” with the dishes & “cleaning” the floor

• Hanging with his best bud in the whole wide world: Marina (aka Momo)

• Snuggling into his bed at bedtime, but waking up in ours (he'd quietly sneak up in the middle of the night until his back legs were too weak - yet he managed to do so his final week)

• Never one to miss a meal & made sure you knew dinnertime is 6:30 ON THE DOT. Didn’t mind helping himself either - a pizza, the sandwich in your hand, Christmas candy (wrappers & all), a bag of vegan muffins, including the bag 🤦‍♂️

• He even had his own Twitter/X account

He was mama’s boy & a home body. When the back gate was left open, you might find him in the front yard, maybe a neighbors’, but never far from his supper bowl. His bark was always a plea for attention.

The Origin Story

In the pre-iPhone era Tee & I recently started dating, I had Marina & her daughter had Penny (both emerging from their puppy stage), she didn’t have a dog & wanted to join the club. In July 2008 on the eastern edge of Raleigh Penny was at the vet & this yellow puppy named Sinatra was alone in a pen. Tee liked him and felt bad for him…he was incessantly barking at her to take him home. She decided if he was there a few days later she would. A few days later I get home from work to find this guy barking at me by the back gate. He was a turbo charged fun-loving goof. But there was a problem, other than his eyes, there was nothing smooth or suave like Sinatra about him. After bouncing around names for a week, Butters fit his personality. He certainly lived up to all that goes with a name like that. And then some. This guy was a character pulled from a cartoon.

He was too much for Tee’s townhouse (he was adopted and returned THREE TIMES due to his energy level). Before I knew it, Tee, Butters & Kitty the Cat moved in and soon after Tee & I tied the knot (Oct 2011). Butters & Marina were best buds out the gate. They were great for each other & she taught him how to play. After dinner we’d have to pause the TV and watch The Butters & Mo Show play out in the family room.

Captain Chaos, Master of Disaster

For a long time I didn’t think Butters was smart cause, well, he did a lot of stupid shit. Once I realized he enjoyed doing stupid shit everything made sense. He was a man of action. Having fun was more important than consequences. Rummaging through guests’ luggage, eating underwear & hot pepper plants (only once), running so fast around the house he’d hit walls hard, eating a Blackberry (remember - pre-iPhone era), eating half my flipflop, helping himself to anything on the counter semi reachable, or nosing through the garbage. Those were the days! Despite his proclivity for trouble, he was a good boy & loyal family member. Thankfully he matured in his teenage years.

When he was young (and let’s be clear, he was formally diagnosed as a "forever-puppy" by the vet) he had 2 speeds: 90 mph or ZERO. There was stuff to do, people to see, balls to find, things to eat. He lived in the moment. Doggy day care was under strict orders: No naps for Butters. When he did zonk out for the night, he was out cold.

His walks were missions. He loved his backpack and trekking to wherever was our destination. He loved playing dress up too - the cone, his sweater, PJ’s, traction socks to keep old legs from slipping, a box on his head, once he walked out of the bathroom wearing a paw patrol toilet trainer around his neck.

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Oh we can’t forget Christmas. This was his fav, even as an old guy. His enthusiasm for presents rivals any 4 year old on a Christmas morning. He’d open his own & sometimes yours looking for a new toy and treats. We had 17 of those magical mornings.

When pups were young, they’d tear up toys. We tried to find indestructible ones. One day we found Butters walking around very gently carrying a little bird (it was dead), he was gentle with it, but wouldn’t let it go. Tee decided to reintroduce stuffy toys to Butters. While he still destroyed many, he was very gentle with them for a while (sooner or later that damn squeaker’s gotta come out). He’d love on his favorite du jour like a baby.

Senior Years

The forever puppy final started slowing down to a normal speed once he became a teenager. We lost Momo when Butters was 14 and arthritis started setting in, but he was still going strong with some meds to manage minor aches.

He loved his people & guests. Hanging with the guys, maintenance ppl, and especially the grandkids. He was always gentle with little people even through his senior years & final days. The new grand puppy, well he enjoyed her company to a degree; she looked up to him, but was a little much at times for old Butters. “Bean” is going to miss old ButterBoy (our g-son's nickname for the Butterball). From the beginning to the end he just wanted to be with us.

Alas, after 18 years & 3 months his old body has worn out. The decision to say goodbye is painful & gut wrenching. #IYKYK

Since the pandemic hit in March 2020, I can count the number of days he wasn’t by our side on my fingers. The pandemic gave us more time together, especially WFH days. The last 6 months were challenging. We could see he was having more uncomfortable days. Side effects of meds to treat a most recent tumor & other issues weren’t tolerated. A few mini seizures cropped up. A healthy lifestyle, quality food and the crew at Hidden Valley Animal Hospital worked wonders for 18 years. But we were running out of options to keep him comfortable this spring. Not finishing some meals was a tell. Yet he kept trodding along like a trooper and just wanted to be with the family - which makes the decision to say goodbye so friggin hard. He always just wanted everyone to be together.

Rest in peace buddy, you earned it. Now go find Momo!

After Life

I’m not a religious person, I don’t know what happens after death. I do believe we have an energy - animals too. There’s something beyond the food we intake and blood in our veins that brings us to life. We’re connected to our environment & each other. The nature of the bond varies between any 2 creatures, that makes it special (and not all Pluribus-like). When a being dies that energy has to go somewhere. I believe it is released from the body & dissipates into our environment. Our bodies may turn to ash & dust. Our energy isn’t part of that ash & dust. Our energy goes elsewhere, maybe with some form of our consciousness. Maybe that’s heaven. 🤷🏻‍♂️ Someday we’ll all find out. Wherever Butters goes next, I hope they’re ready for shenanigans and he teams up with Marina, Penny and all their other buddies. Our 8 yro g’daughter said that energy will go into the next puppy that’s born. If so, that puppy deserves a loving family; with a little patience he’ll return the love.

For the first time in nearly 20 years - longer than Tee & I have been together - there’s no dog in our house tonight waiting for a midnight nuggie. 😢

If there’s one in your house, treasure your time. It goes by too fast. 🐶💓

It Took a Village

A big thx to all the people who have helped us with both dogs over the years:

• The Philips fam, The Metz fam, The Barber-Jones fam

• Erin G and numerous other neighbors that found the dogs on an adventure or simply lathered Butters with a round of pets

• Dog & House sitters: Lynn D, Mary Lou, Kim H, Sue M, Sara H, Jeane T, Chele M

• Pupsi (they loved Pupsi)

• Hidden Valley Animal Hospital

• And of course my step daughter Heather & son-in-law Charlie

If you have a Butters (or Marina) memory, please share.

A tribute to Richard Hopkins #CancerSucks

This world lost another good soul to cancer. My dear friend Richard Hopkins heard the dreaded diagnosis in late January then left us just 3 months later. He was 60, but brought the energy and enthusiasm of a 16 yro and wisdom of a 116 yro to everything he touched. The consummate project manager, he planned his celebration of life, but underestimated attendees. He anticipated 50, maybe 75 people would come out. Last week over 175 turned out and many more wanted to be there.

I met Richard in 2003. We were both volunteers at the Jimmy V Celebrity Golf Classic. In the span of 20 years the golf tournament raised over $13 million for The V Foundation for Cancer Research. While numerous celebrities from Charles Barkley, Michael Jordan, Arnold Palmer, Dick Vitale, Coach K, Kevin Costner and an array of other sports and entertainment greats (Meatloaf!) brought the star power, the sponsors brought the donations. Richard and I were a member of the sponsor host team. Prepping and catering to sponsors was a lot of work - for good cause, but a lot of fun - the whole event was brimming with positive vibes. Richard was a natural fit. 

Over the years the regulars formed a tight knit group. We closed the winter holiday season with our annual White Elephant Potluck party hosted at his house a couple weeks before he started having health issues. 

That's the way Richard was - always in the middle, beaming with positive energy. Few people's words are backed so strongly by their actions and deeds as Richard. The man was genuine. He walked is walk.

The V Foundation and golf tournament combined Richard's love for NC State, passion for sports and drive to serve (though several years Richard was responsible for driving the Hooters girls around the golf course - that may have been a factor! it was certainly one volunteer duty he didn't want to shed).

The V Foundation awarded many cancer research grants in honor of notable people involved in the cause. They began extending this honor to one standout volunteer each year. Richard received that honor in 2010. On that occasion 13 years ago he put that love, passion and drive of his into a poem he wrote and read at the annual Jimmy V Volunteer party. It was his tribute to Jim Valvano. 

At Richard's celebration of life Terry Grayson spoke about his V work and I had the honor of sharing his poem. As a tribute to Richard, I'd like to share it again... 

Why I Marched (and What's the Deal with Obama Haters?)

Jan 21, 2017: Raleigh, NC

Yesterday Donald Trump took office.
Today millions of concerned people took to the streets - across the globe.

Inspired by my wife who trekked up to DC for the marquee Women's March on Washington, I joined my friend Katherine and her little girls to head into the heart of Raleigh, NC for the local march. En route Katherine asked "how big do you think the crowd will be?", "I just hope it isn't pathetic" I responded. Then we hit traffic - there isn't traffic on Glenwood Ave on a normal Sat morning. This wasn't a normal Raleigh morning. A mile from the march route people donning pink hats and signs were hiking in. Turnout expectations for the little Raleigh march were smashed - 17,000. The DC crowd was estimated at 500,000, maybe more.

Inspired by my friend Jennifer who is capturing the mood of DC in pictures, I brought my trusty Canon to dabble in photo journalism too (more photos coming).

Inspired by more friends marching in Raleigh, DC, NYC, Copenhagen and beyond, along with viewpoints of others (from both sides of the isle) on social, traditional media and old fashioned conversations, got me thinking and drafting this blog post.

Why march? What will it accomplish? a coworker asked Friday. I don't expect much to change as a result of the march. If that holds true, nothing is a huge victory. Unless you've been in a coma, you know Trump and the socially/religious conservative-right have been attacking women's rights and minorities and every social program - including education - for years. Sometimes with rhetoric, sometimes with action - NC has seen this up close (HB2 anyone?). If the voices and votes from the millions that came out today slow down or stop attacks - pick your cause: equal pay for equal work, universal healthcare, the environment, abortion, racism/minorities, education, social services (which 99% of us will need in some form someday), that's a victory.

And why do the social conservatives feel it is their God-given duty to impose their beliefs on everyone else? I'm pro-choice. That means I'm ok with anyone that decides pro-life is the right thing for THEMSELVES.  I'm not ok w/ pro-lifers that feel their view must be enforced on everyone.
Ditto for religion. I'm for freedom of religion (or no religion). When one's view infringes on the views (RIGHTS) of another, that's wrong. That's the underlying spirit of the march.
When did separation of church and state stop being a thing?

Which gets me to the fanatical Trump supporters, aka Obama-haters. I get some people love the "Make America Great Again" slogan. What american doesn't want the USA to be great?
But why hate Obama? I didn't hate Carter, Reagan, Bush 1, Clinton or Bush 2 (I hated a lot of GW's short-sighted, ill-informed decisions, but he'd be a blast at a Super Bowl Party, just don't give him a pretzel).
What has Obama done that has made life worse for the Obama-haters? I've yet to hear an articulate response (please comment; seriously, enlighten me).
Unemployment is down, the stock market is up, Bin-Laden is gone, no new wars, no sharia laws, and everyone on the terrorist watch list still has their AK-47 assault rifle.

I wish more was accomplished during BO's reign, but Congress wouldn't have it. They are insulated with state of the art gerrymandering, Citizens United, and unlimited term limits. Congress can ride out whatever chaos they create (gov't shutdown, debt ceilings, 8 butts on the SCOTUS bench). Trump or no Trump, this problem is undermining our democracy and it's getting worse with no end in sight.

Don't give me bullshit about Obamacare. US healthcare costs were escalating well before we ever heard the name Barack Obama. The US spends far more and gets less per-capita than other developed nation.  I don't hear anybody in DC talking about that. Unless you're in the 1%, you are one pink slip and a bad diagnosis away from financial ruin and/or early death without Obamacare. Fix the cost issues, insurance becomes affordable again. Every other country figured it out, if the USA is so great, why can't we? In the meantime, if you want to drive a car you need car insurance, you want to live in the US you need healthcare insurance. If I have to pay more in taxes or premiums so a child in town can get her cancer meds or a diabetic on the opposite coast can get his insulin, then that's a small sacrifice.

I hope Trump can bring back jobs, but I guarantee the factory owners won't fire the robots. Educating and re-training the workforce for the jobs of today and tomorrow is essential. I don't think Trump's tragically comical nomination for secretary of education will do a damn thing to solve that. And consumers will need to spend more on Made in the USA goods than the China imports on sale at Walmart (I'm not betting on that).

I hope Trump can get over the size of his hands, size of his ratings, size of his election results, size of his inauguration crowd - so he can begin to work on making America greater. He has been given the biggest responsibility and biggest opportunity in the country. Focus on the size of that Donald.

We the people need to keep an eye on what's really happening, not the divisive distracting tweets. Watch the Trump administration's actions more so than words.

Eight years ago Obama rode in on a wave of positive hope and change.
I'm still holding on to hope - hope Trump won't send us back 50 years.
A lot of people are fired up and ready to go!

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